John the Baptist

So John the Baptist was hanging out in the desert and eating bugs. People decided that this was an example of brilliance, and so they hung out with him. It doesn't say in the Bible whether or not they ate bugs, too, but I like to assume that they did.

Then John said, "Jesus is coming. He can set things on fire with his mind and make quiches that actually taste good and will finally solve the great question of whether frisbees or real bees are better."

And then he pushed people underwater.

And the people were like, "Urble-urble-gulp."

Then they came back up from the water and repeated themselves and said, "Dude, this Jesus guy is going to be cool."

Amen.