Nebuchadnezzar

Once upon a time there was a king named Nebuchadnezzar, because his mommy and daddy hated him and they always told him he was an accident and that's why the game him such a long stupid name and then they'd fire up the grill and make hot dogs!

And one day he got special magical Play-Doh from the sculpting materials tree he had planted as a young boy and grabbed a guy and said "Make a STATUE!"

And the guy said, "Hey, look! A nickel!" And then he made a statue.

And then Nebby said, "Everybody must LOVE the statue. Everybody must WORSHIP it!"

And then there was this lizard and it crawled onto a tree and ate couple of bugs and it had this really cool tongue with spots on it and everything.

Then these three guys said it was a stupid statue and they were busy playing kickball anyways. So the king got really mad and set them on fire and threw them in a furnace, which kind of made setting them on fire redundant, but King Nebbuchadnezzar wasn't exactly the planning type.

And I forget what happened next. I think God saved them or something. But maybe Esther came by and cut off somebody's head. It all kinda runs together.