Why I'm Bad at Interviewing, Part Three

Can you give me an example of your ability to manage or supervise others?
I once raised a militia which holed up in the Appalachians for six months before we launched our assault on the nation's bowling alleys.

What are some things you would like to avoid in a job?
Effort, requirements, supervision, and responsibilities.

In your previous job what kind of pressures did you encounter?
Air pressure, water pressure, and something we liked to call "syrup pressure".

What would you say is the most important thing you are looking for in a job?
The opportunity to manipulate small woodland creatures to do my bidding.

What are some of the things on your job you feel you have done particularly well or in which you have achieved the greatest success?
Well, it's not exactly job related, but I was once notified that I might already be a winner in the Publishers' Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

What were some of the things about your last job that you found most difficult to do?
Getting it by feigning interest in one inane interview question after another.