What is your professional goal?
To be dragged kicking and screaming into a mental institution.

Can you give me an example of experience on the job that you felt was satisfying?
I once had the gratifying opportunity to write some of our national missile defense codes in the frost on the frozen foods shelving.

Do you have a long & short-term plan for your department?
Hell, yeah. Short term, I would like to undermine morale, and long term we're trying to sell out the company to a Japanese competitor.

Is it realistic?
Not really. Since our company makes English-Russian / Russian-English translators, we don't have any Japanese competitors.

Did you achieve it last year?
This is the part of the interview wherein I strongly suspect you're reading off of a list, dumbass. If it's not realistic, how the heck would I achieve it?

Describe how you determine what constitutes top priorities in the performance of your job.
I slay a young chicken and cast its bones upon the earth, then carefully interpret their position and orientation.