Stupid Livejournal Survey, Number Two

LAST PERSON WHO
x. You kissed: That pervy game show host on The Price is Right. Why do people kiss him anyways? You never see people kissing Alex Trebek when they get a daily freakin double.

HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Been to Hawaii: Did you know it's possible but highly unlikely that you could disappear and reappear in Hawaii? No, seriously. I'm not joking about this. It could happen.
x. Mexico: Yes, but only to smuggle cocaine.
x. China: Just in time to see them thawing out and reassembling some athletes for use at the 2000 Olympic games.
x. Canada: Ah, yes, Canada. Where men are bearded and people aren't sure whether or not they speak French. Where the weather is so cold that I can sort of understand curling as a national sport.
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: Okay, the linguist in me has forced the grammarian in me not to change "wish" to "wished", but I'm letting you know, it was a struggle.
x. Fought with your parents: Yes. In fact, my entire family joined forces to oppose the oncoming hordes of undead. (I'll bet you didn't think I could work a syntactic double-meaning pun into this one, didja?)

PERSONAL THINGS
x. Future daughter's name: Gregory
x. Future son's name: James Knox Polk, after our eleventh and finest president.
x. What's under your bed: A monster. A horrible, unspeakable clawed beast with poisonous tentacles and a fanged maw. Also, it has dust bunnies as minions.
x. Favorite sport to watch: The Neil McLehrer News Hour. Seriously. They get physical.
x. Current Age: Stone, moving into bronze.
x. Location: Location - Where would you be without it?
x. Piercings/tattoos: Well, *I* called it a piercing. The nice physician in the ER informed me it was a "gunshot wound" before I passed out.
x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Both, actually, and they were the same person.

EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs: Well, there was that time when I got a little crazy after taking a Benadryl...
x. Do you drink: Yes, but nothing stronger than chunky milk.
x. Who are your best friends: The transformers. You can always count on Robots in Disguise.
x. What are you most scared of: Awakening to realize that my life is a violence-addled pit of misery and drug abuse. Also puppets. I fear puppets.
x. What clothes do you sleep in: I object to the implicit anti-nudist bias in this exam.
x. Where do you want to get married: Under the sea.
x. Who do you really hate: People who read my website.
x. Been in love: Yes, with life.
x. Do you have a job: Well, my father recently asked if it was my job to make his life difficult, but I don't think it's a paid position, so I'm more of an intern than an employed member of society.
x. Do you like being around people: It seems like it would be more comfortable than being inside of them.
x. Are you for world peace: No, as a card-carrying member of Students for a Nuked Tibet, I am firmly opposed to peace.
x. Are you a health freak: No, just the garden-variety kind.

FAVORITE
x. Room in house: Foyers. They're seriously underappreciated, but I kinda like them. You leave shoes there. You stand there awkwardly while listening to Jehovah's Witnesses. Foyers freaking rock.
x. Type(s) of music: Redneck digiridoo-jazz fusion
x. Color: Clear
x. Food(s): 2 of every animal.
x. Perfume or cologne: Eau de Haven't Showered in a Couple of Days
x. Month: I'm a big fan of Julytoberuary, but it pales in comparison to Smarch, the thirteenth month.
x. Day: Yesterday, wherin it has been empirically proven that love was in fact an easier game to play.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: Once I cried for I had no shoes, then I looked down at my feet and realized I had already put them on.
x. Bought something: Yeah, a candy bar since I was hungry.
x. Gotten sick: Sick of injustice? Sick of violence? Sick of the plight of the weak? Sick of rhinoviri attacking my nose? Yes, yes.
x. Sang: I start every day with the Oscar Mayer Weiner Song.
x. Said "I Love You": Yes, although I was talking to a delicious, delicious lamppost
x. Met someone new: Well, it was technically someone I already knew, but then he concussed me with a tire iron and it was *like* meeting someone knew.
x. Talked to someone: No, I have taken a vow of silence.
x. Missed someone: Yeah, by about two inches, but I freaked him out real good. Too bad he ran before I could reload.
x. Hugged someone: Yes, but it was a police officer.
x. Kissed someone: Frederick the Great.