8 - 29 - 06:

Yes, yes, yes. It's the worst job ever.

This (spoof) commercial pits German Engineering vs. Arab Technology.

This is - and they state this explicitly on their website - the world's first All-Midget KISS Cover Band. Apparently they have a rival band that was formed after they were, called Tiny KISS. We are truly blessed in this nation, to have available to us not one, but two midget-only tribute bands to KISS. Rock on.

Cats That Look Like Hitler is dediated to potential feline fuerers - 'kitlers' in the parlance of the site - and burgeoning with information about the similarities between cats and genocidal maniacs.

02-28-06:

The Boneless Pig Farmers Association of America is a rather professional website dedicated to a completely ficticious creature.

Overheard in New York is a site dedicated to listing all the most spectacular things submitters heard people mutter around Long Island.

02-10-06:

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is an extraordinarily well-rhymed take on the final battle between...everybody.

If you ever want to feel smart, check out Warning Labels for the reasoning impaired. No matter how dumb you are you can still take some vague satisfaction in knowing that someone who isn't you needed to be warned that "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."

I am rather astounded by the existence of the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. The mere fact that eight individuals who are ukulelists sought one another out is impressive enough, but that they decided to put together a cover of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is truly ear-boggling. Keep an eye on the guy with long blonde hair on the far left. He keeps headbanging. To the ukulele. That's just awesome. (Note: This is the first and only video I've ever seen on Google Video wherein I got no results when I clicked "More Like This One".)

Pets In Uniform really ought to be able to boast that it's the only website on the internet to contain the phrase "Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia." but according to Google, there are 450 others out there. Just think about that for a minute. This is the awesome power of the internet. There are multiple websites about cats and dogs in uniform.

I debated about Dog Island for a while, because I wasn't sure if it was real. I'm still not entirely convinced that it is, but if it's not, it's an astounding replica. This site encourages people to send their dogs to live on remote islands where they can form packs and eat gophers all day long. Best sentence? "Every now and then some dogs gang up and kill and then eat another dog, but this is just natural, and it's okay for it to happen now and then, but normally this is not the case." (from the FAQ).

Never one to avoid reading homosexuality into warrior bonds between men, I did enjoy the rather well-clipped Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron.

Yet another Harry Potter Flash Cartoon. There's enough Harry Potter related flash movies out there to choke Hagrid, but this one is worth it for Harry's rapidly changing scar, and Snape's background appearances.

01-14-06:

The world's one and only mass listing if math and science songs. Ew.

01-07-06:

Make Love, Not Terror. One of the funniest things I've seen in my entire life. Watch it. Right now. It's a commercial, that aired in Tel Aviv in 2003, and it's message is something like, "Hey, if you decide to become a suicide bomber, beware, because beautiful anonymous women can't have sex with you if you're dead." What's particularly spectacular is the target audience that such a commercial might be geared towards: Those who believe strongly enough in a cause to blow themselves up for it, but not so strongly that they can't be distracted by a large-breasted woman. It seems to me that we're talking about a relatively tiny group of individuals.

The Brick Testament is composed largely of illustrations of dozens of Bible stories, done entirely in Lego.

Geek Fantasies is a rather tawdry website dedicated to the finest in nerd wish fulfillment.

Along the same lines, the Nerd Porn Manifesto is a lengthy discussion of a new brand of pornography. Scroll down to the bottom to hear the author read it.

And even more nerdporn, this time in the form of a site called Playwitch, which is a hysterically funny Playboy parody based on characters from the Harry Potter books. (Warning: This, unlike the previous two links, contains actual porn...I debated about whether or not to link to it, but the mere fact that it exists is sufficiently funny that it went up here.)

The P-mate is described by its website as the female public urinating device. I had no idea there was competition for such things.

A 7-sided Die. I suppose I always knew such a thing could exist, but I'm really glad that someone took the time to breathe life into that little blob of improbable plastic. The real question is, which class would use it? Maybe a cleric who steals a lot.

Crying While Eating is exactly what it says it is. The entire page is nothing more than about 20 short video clips of someone crying and eating, with a brief pair of notes explaining what they are eating and why they are crying. Huh.

The Trunk Monkey; a revolutionary new idea from Suburban auto group.

I'm not sure quite why I find beavers so damn funny.

For those of you looking for a really romantic gift for a significant other, remember that nothing says "I love you and please forgive me for that time when I started giggling while you were telling me about how your uncle was devoured by wolves," like Valentine Ape Sucker Covers. Furthermore, I don't really think there are any needs in this world which are met by Plastic Boxing Robot Rings, Inflatable Saxaphones, or Four Dozen Plastic Ninjas.

Airtoons provides more appropriate captions to airline safety manuals.

Katamari is a fucked up game to begin with. For the uninitiated, you are responsible for rolling a giant ball of debris around and making it gianter by picking up more debris. That's pretty much the whole game. It's disturbing and apparently addictive. And now made of Play-dough.

The Beast Blender is a monster-making toy that is more fun than it should be, put together by the Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermy

This is a fun little toy that lets you see a graph of your name's popularity over the years.

Altar Boys vs. Backstreet Boys

False Advertising calls itself a "gallery of parody". To be fair, it's mostly puns, but it does include the Smuggle Bear.

This chicken will do what you type in at the bottom of the screen. Or he'll make a shame-on-you gesture of you give him commands that couldn't be followed without requiring proof of age. No really. Try it.

This is one of those talents that is truly impressive, yet at the same time, more than a little eerie.

I am a Japanese Schoolteacher is the blog of a man from the United States who is teaching English in Japan. Quite funny. Contains the sentence, "It's actually a little disturbing to think that my life now includes a little Japanese girl who will randomly teleport into a place, yell "breasts!" at me, then teleport out as quickly as she came."

The Edgar Allen Poe roadtrip.

This is a test of Victorian-era manners. The fun part (and I use that term loosely) is trying to figure out the right answer so you can try it last, because wrong answers get you attacked by ninjas, elephants, and kangaroos with death lasers.

Repeated Deaths of a Sim and Why it's Fun to be a Grownup.

Final Fantasy A+ simply isn't funny if you weren't already a Final Fantasy fan. Of course, if you're not, you should probably keel over from the crushing weight of despair and lack of Chocobos any minute now.

Futher in the realm of things that are funny only to a small segment of the population, the police response to a magic missile attack.

Mastercard and the Redsox. Priceless in an entirely different way.

The Potterpuffs are a series of Harry Potter-related images and icons in the style of the PowerPuff Girls. Unlike Playwitch, they are not pornographic. Thank god.

A few new ads: baby food, Pilsbury, and a real step up from a lemonade stand.

The fact of the matter is, most people should not be wearing Star Wars Costumes. Especially not this one.

I really don't know why the Falling Sand Game is so much fun, but it does let you grow things only to light them on fire, so I suppose that is a plus.

Paul's News is one of those things that I can't decide whether or not I want to exist. On the one hand, it would be easy to get back lost phone numbers. On the other hand, I've been preserving my sense of self almost entirely via repression for the past 20 or so years of my life, so my entire personality might crumble. It's kind of hit and miss.

If you've ever wanted to see a compendium of all of the worst knitted products on the planet, You Knit What? has "got the goods," so to speak. And if you - like most sensible people - haven't, at least go for the Baby Monkey Yarn.

The TWINKIES Project is a site dedicated to detailed scientific analysis of the properties of Twinkies. And their results are in haiku.

For a spectacular listing of things that haven't been invented for a damn good reason, check out Halfbakery.

The Nerd Gym brings you the best in Geeky posture suggestions.

The Backstroke of the West is a poorly translated version of Star Wars, Episode III. Includes the threat, "They are just a flock of to fish for fame it's person." I'm scared.

Other Star Wars related madness includes the Sith Rejects, Lords of Darkness who were not to be.

And finally, the Star Wars III trailer in 1337.

Planarity is just another addictive, time-wasting game. But oh, how it is addictive.

This is what appears to be the face of Richard Nixon, reproduced in food form, hiding behind a false mustache.

Lake Superior Univeristy has taken it upon itself to banish words that should not be.

Ever wanted a convenient way to look up all the times a given element was mentioned in comic books? Probably not.

A thorough investigation into the Phallic Symbolism in the Lord of the Rings movies>

Disturbing Auctions devotes itself to preserving images of the worst of eBay.

This is another one I debated long and hard about whether to put it up, although not because it contains pornography. Instead, it is a detailed debate about whether a lightsaber (such as a Jedi might use) can cut adamantium (as one might find in the X-man Wolverine). And that's just not healthy.

Ways to defend the earth from alien invaders.

Really. Long. Email. Addresses.

If you've ever been bored on a long road trip, know that it could be worse. Someone in your car could be playing Road Sign Math.

Useful phrases in French are much easier to come by these days, and, frankly, they're vital if you don't want to "Être comme une poule qui a trouvé un couteau" (be like a chicken who has found a knife).

Click the Color is irritatingly difficult. Much harder than it seems like it should be.

A tiny hydrogen bomb is what every kid needs to enhance his or her study of electromagnetism. Free you inner mad scientist!

Very Small Objects have never really gotten the respect they're due, until now.

The CIA Homepage for Kids. No, really. And what the hell kind of an example is that bear setting, wandering around unfettered like a threat to national security? They even show you the official CIA document-burning compactor! I think my friend Ian summed it up the best, "It would be great if at the end the bear was arrested without charges and locked in a vault."

I have grave concerns about residing on the same planet as the Wendy's Grill Rap, an actual training video clip from the 80s.

The Story of Bread doesn't really need to exist, but it does, so I suppose we'll just have to move on.

The Grow Cube shouldn't exist, but for different reasons than everything else on this list. It's monstrously high levels of awesometasticity are reducing my productivity by as much as six billion percent.

SpamGoogle is designed to bring you the worst pages first, every single time.

More about Spam. Here we have a gentleman who replies to his Spam.

And here we have a group who try to string along spam-based scammers. And finally, we have Spamusement, which illustrates Spam subject headings.

At first I thought the Glaucoma Theme Song was just a joke, but no, they're damn serious. Some people eat too much paint.

The Alphabet by C'thulu.

Have you ever wanted to see two Chinese college boys lip-synch to the Backstreet Boys? Of course not, but since I did, you should, too. Best points of that video: 1. The headbanging. Sweet mother of pancakes, why? 2. The way the one guy's headband kept falling off and he kept trying to rhythmically replace it. 3. The kid in the back who shows no reaction whatsoever. Seriously, there are two guys standing right behind him, dancing around, and he completely ignores them. Maybe they just do this a lot?

The Microsoft Guide to 1337.

The Superdickery image galleries are worth at least an hour or two of your time, especially if you've ever been a comics fan. The fact of the matter is, Superman is a dick.